In an ideal situation, the thoughts that run in my mind, should be exactly those that I would like and I want. We do exert this control, that we possess, over our thoughts, but it is not complete and it is only sometimes. The more we become completely engrossed in our daily routine, the more our thoughts tend to become ‘reactions’ to what goes on outside us. That’s when they go out of control and our lives move in an unfocused way. As a result things don’t work out as we might have desired. Then we develop a habit of blaming other people and circumstances, or we justify our pain by telling ourselves we are not very worthy or powerful enough. Often, these two inner strategies go together. The trouble is, both are cover ups, preventing us from going for a long-term solution.
In this way, we tend to live our lives on a very superficial level, without taking the time to find the solution to what is going on wrong inside. Deeper difficulties remain hidden inside. I move from one scene of life to another – eating, watching television, studying in college, getting married, changing jobs, buying a new car or house, etc. without ever stopping. All these are part of living, but if I make them my whole and sole, my foundation, it’s as if I skate across the surface of life without being in touch with the core. As time progresses, an inner shallowness develops. Then the feeling keeps growing inside that ‘there must be more to life than this’. I then, find that my relationships are not working out as I would have hoped and they are lacking in depth.
Junaid Tahir